For most of my life, I’ve moved through the world with a nervous system stuck in a state of threat.
On the outside, I looked like I was managing just fine. Inside? I was scanning, over-processing, hypervigilant, masking, and burning out.
It wasn’t about being “too sensitive.” It wasn’t about needing to “toughen up.” It was about having a nervous system adapted to chronic overload and no one noticing.
This wasn’t just “anxiety.” It was a body doing its job: detecting threat where safety hadn’t been consistently offered.
And I thought that was totally normal. I had no idea this wasn’t how others lived.
Nervous System Disabilities Are Real And Rising
A nervous system disability isn’t always visible, and it’s rarely discussed. But it can govern everything about how we show up from how we think and move to how we speak, listen, connect, and work.
A nervous system disability refers to any condition that disrupts the normal functioning of the central or peripheral nervous system. This includes neurological disorders like epilepsy and Parkinson’s, but also neurodevelopmental conditions like:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
For neurodivergent people, these differences aren’t side effects they’re core operating systems. They shape how we relate to time, tasks, relationships, and environments. And when those systems are misunderstood, unsupported, or forced to conform, the result is a chronic state of nervous system threat.
Our nervous system can’t always tell the difference between the sound of an email notification and a predator approaching. That ping? It triggers the same fight-or-flight wiring that’s kept humans alive for centuries.
The Rewiring Is Real And It’s Accelerating
Our bodies have always adapted to their environments. But today, the rate of change is outpacing our biology.
A 2017 study published in Cell found that the human nervous system continues to evolve in response to rising digital stimulation, social complexity, and reduced physical movement.
In The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt goes further: Today’s children are being neurologically rewired by their environment. And not for the better.
Instead of regulation through play, nature, and real-world feedback, children are immersed in:
Algorithm-driven feedback loops
Continuous screen exposure
Isolation from physical environments
Social comparison without context or repair
The result?
A generation living in chronic sympathetic arousal fight, flight, or freeze with limited access to the parasympathetic states of safety, connection, and curiosity.
And this matters.
Because regulation isn’t just about mental health it’s about human potential.
I see this in my own children. My firstborn (2014) had early access to a tablet. My second (2017) did not. The difference in their ability to enter states of discovery is astounding. My 10-year-old and I listened to The Anxious Generation together. They love science, and we talk about how online safety doesn’t always translate into real-world resilience especially in relationships.
Pathological Demand Avoidance: A Nervous System in Defence Mode
One vivid example of nervous system dysregulation is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) a profile often seen in autistic individuals and widely misunderstood.
People with PDA don’t reject requests out of defiance. They reject them because their nervous system interprets demands as a loss of autonomy a threat to safety.
In classrooms, this shows up as oppositional behaviour. In the workplace, it’s labeled rigid, noncompliant, or difficult.
But PDA isn’t rebellion. It’s a protective strategy in environments that lack psychological safety, flexibility, and control.
Research in Frontiers in Education shows that people with PDA are more likely to face:
School exclusions
Workplace breakdowns
Mental health crises
And in today’s fast-paced, digital-first world? We’re not just failing this population we’re exacerbating their dysregulation.
This isn’t complicated to fix. Small changes can have a huge impact and they don’t cost a thing. This PDA Society guide outlines how simple language, behavior, and flexibility can level the playing field for kids and adults with PDA. It just requires people in power to choose curiosity over control.
From Threat to Discovery: The Power of Safety
My transformation didn’t start with a diagnosis. It started with language.
When I learned that what I was experiencing wasn’t “failure to cope” it was a nervous system doing its job everything shifted. I stopped fighting myself. I started listening.
My workplace and community have been a part of this shift. They’ve seen me become dysregulated in meetings. They’ve watched me push to burnout and mask my perceived failures with control. And they’ve made space to hear my story, creating psychological safety.
And for leaders especially those who are neurodivergent themselves supporting people like me isn’t always easy.
I live in the future. I form patterns at speed. I’ve been called a “bulldozer,” a “dog on a bone.” Why? Because I saw what others wouldn’t see for months or years. Because I had the conviction to push for a better world even if I didn’t say it the “right” way.
Small Changes. Big Impact.
We don’t need a revolution to support regulation. We need a paradigm shift in how we see behaviour.
Let’s set control aside and approach people with curiosity over compliance.
Here’s what helps at home, work, and school:
Replace urgency with clarity
Offer autonomy before direction
Validate before correcting
Recognize noncompliance as communication
Design environments that reduce sensory threat and increase control
These aren’t “special accommodations.” They are the difference between survival and success. Between meltdown and mastery. Between disconnection and contribution.
If we keep treating dysregulation like a failure to cope, we’re teaching children that masking is necessary, and burnout is the norm.
And we can do better.
We must teach through modeling that:
Discovery happens when the body feels safe
Brilliance blooms in regulation, not reaction
Difference isn’t something to accommodate it’s something to build around
Because if we don’t reckon with the great nervous system rewiring, we’re not just risking productivity we’re risking human potential.
Nervous system differences are not rare. They are not going away. They are a core part of the human experience and they’re trying to tell us something.
We can’t measure performance in environments that create threat responses. We must start measuring how well environments support regulation.
Neurodiversity is not just about inclusion it’s about innovation. Let’s invite disruption. Encourage constructive dissent. Make space for debate, friction, and divergent thinking.
Because no one can access their full potential from a threat state. Discovery, creativity, and leadership require one thing above all: safety.
Let’s create that. For ourselves. For our children. And for the future we dare to imagine.
This content reflects my personal lived experience as an adult diagnosed with ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory Processing Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder. It is intended to raise awareness, foster understanding, and invite dialogue. I am not a medical or clinical professional, and nothing shared here should be considered medical or psychological advice. All data and statistics cited are for educational purposes only and are publicly sourced. This post does not represent the views of my employer or any affiliated organizations.
